Then rent the bigger home out using a property manager, allowing her to possibly cash flow and maintain that asset and let it continue to grow in value.Encourage her to consult with a CPA or tax attorney to explore the best strategy tailored to her situation.

I’d love to hear about the crime rates or any other issues (which we cannot guess from the online stats), and how easy or hard it is to find reliable tenants and property management companies.

For example, could I use my SDIRA to operate a management company that charges my holding LLCs a management fee?

Managers will quit or worse.

No management costs as it would be self managed, and estimated property taxes by the average of the past few years.

Something many new investors don't think about is that property managers usually negotiate volume discounts for some of this stuff.

If you don't have the relationships, hire someone who does.This is why Brian Burke can go “large corporate” while I have to stay “small private”; he has the ability to MANAGE PEOPLE that I do not.  

That means learning how to vet a manager.

My goal would be to start within 1-2 years and get some more experience with the construction process, project management, financing/budgeting, etc.

Let's you prove yourself to your investors in a more manageable way.