I'm looking for recommendations for a lender, or just strategic ideas of how we could continue to use the conventional lender that we have.

We know that turning a profit in California is near impossible, but we want to live in California AND we want to be strategic with our first home by thinking of it as an investment strategy.

But it seems that every "solution" that I offer is combatted with another reason that we shouldn't.She's saying that we are too young (she is 21 as well) and although I know that REI takes time, what better time than when we're both young to formulate a plan, and put it into action?

I am starting a strategic marketing campaign to find wholesale deals currently.

You need to continue networking and speak to those who are currently buying so you can best strategize from there.

I also like to strategically place my yard signs at bus stops and in convenient stores I hang fliers with my number and something stating For Rent.

And this can be a huge strategic move as you now have one property that is doing two things - It is building up tax free cash from the residence portion. 

Of course, the SELLER must never be made aware of how you formulate your Offers, right?

I’ll keep that in mind when strategizing my approach!

If you wait 6 months then value is based on lower of market or acquisition cost After 12 months it's based market value only.The caveat is the ltv's get lower as you hit #5-10 financed properties and after 5-10 is hit you will not be able to cash out unless if you bought it with cash (not financing) in under 6 months proceeding the acquisition date.There are ways to cash out after you hit  5-10 using conventional and get your money back but it's a bit lengthy for this response and requires strategic planning.Second option is portfolio financing, local lenders, generally with the title of "commercial loan officer," or vp of business financing etc they do not carry the title of residential loan officer 9 out 10 times.