Hometrust has never offered such a deal (their rehab estimates are laughably low) I would like to hear what other investors are finding that even comes close to the 70% rule and how you are finding them. 

My ultimate goal is to have $10,000/month cashflow in about 10 years time with "low-effort" REI to afford a mortgage in CA :)

If not, sadly, the allure of low rates and no points is taken off the borrower's table, but so are the licensed LO's that have little to no experience in DSCR.

Low property taxes, and landlord-friendly.

First get all the utilities into you tenants names if at all possible.I'd put in low flow shower heads first.They make a restrictor that goes inline with any shower head and is pretty difficult to tell its there.Put a brick in the water tank.

Trees, ditches, low spots or valleys for ponds, etc. 

This would make sense if there is room to add value.In general, the general move here would be do go for a house-hack with a low down payment or simply save up to invest in the next property.

Given your circumstances, the following advice and considerations apply:Benefit from low interest rates, no down payment required in most situations, and financing for up to four units when you take advantage of the VA loan.A thorough grasp of your budget should include the purchase price of the property as well as any possible maintenance expenses and other related expenses.

Is the current tank shot or just the heating elements?  

Since my strategy would definitely involve house hacking, I was thinking about house hacking with a mixed-use property.It could be interesting to evaluate as a strategy, but only if I can access financing with a low downpayment.How would that work from a financing standpoint?