My goal (3 options in descending order) is to acquire a local 2-4 unit to house hack, a 2-4 unit outside my desired living area, or a SFR.I'm looking first and foremost at properties needing TLC/fixer uppers/BRRRR eligible. 0.

Knock on wood, no breakins yet but both me and my cleaning lady have met the police now 3 times, so it does work...  

Are you permitted to do a police record check?

I would go with 2 polices, but check with each insurer to see what they offer and how they would work it.

We're seeing this starting to happen already here in mountain towns like Breck and Vail which now require someone local to be on call 24-7 to handle any issues with late night partying noise complaints so the police don't have to, which is in response to angry neighbor's complaints taking up too much time for the police. 

Then the police couldn't do anything because my contractor and I were the only ones who saw him attack me.

Call the police NOW!!!

If your property was vacant and now people are living there without your permission then that is criminal trespassing, breaking and entering and probably also destruction of property and larceny if they took anythingThat being said, the police may still tell you that you have to evict them if they say they have a lease/rental agreement

OR it could look great if you peek in the windows(I would not suggest that, the homeowner could still be living there and call the police on you), but when the people get foreclosed on maybe they take the air conditioner with them.

If you pull a police report on 2/3 zip codes in Memphis the crime report will be 20 pages long.