Could you give me some advice on choosing a bank and which lender you used for this deal?

It's the National Association of Residential Property Managers that most of us (good) property managers belong to, and it's a good place to start to get a few company names for your first interviews.If you go to the Home page and click "Search for a Member" it will give you the option to choose a state or a chapter.

I could choose to eat out wherever, with no groupons or deals and pay full market price - easily blowing $150 in a night.

Using a 203k to acquire a 4-unit property in San Diego is an excellent strategy, so I commend you for choosing that path.As for your questions:1.

It gives them a set pay-off date, the certainty of an easy foreclosure since your a commercial deal (if necessary), and you can refinance with the ARV at a bank of your choosing. 

We want to have a family one day, be financially independent, help fund our future children's college (if they choose to go), and retire without the financial worries that we already have.

Debating on which tenants you would choose.

Good luck, whichever way you choose!

As mentioned above, you could wait until it goes to auction, but there is no rhyme or reason to when BCAD chooses to send a property to auction.  

I know there's not much out there to choose from right now.