I desperately want to avoid them getting in if they haven't already taken up residence and laid eggs.

Does anyone know of a fund/hard money lender that will do a refinance on a high end residence being used as a rental? 

I know how buying a house for a primary residence can become an emotional decision which increases the amount a person is willing to pay... but with attempting to pick up a long-term buy and hold, at least in my experience, the profitably is largely determined at purchase (and of course subsequent to this, proper tenant screening and management of the property).

I own a condo which is worth about 160k, and owe 110k.I just purchased a single family residence for my primary residence 3 months ago.

The current plan is to go straight into a rental, then begin the process of home buying (primary residence) within a month or two of getting settled, knowing it could take several months to find what we're looking for. 

We've found they often attract a stronger resident/people will treat them with care & stay longer as it feels like they have their own home. 

I'm offering my primary residence as a LO.

So me and my boyfriend have been living at the residence for 3 months on October 1st.

If I were you I would buy a primary residence elsewhere (the lower the down payment the better as long as you are comfortable with the numbers) and rent out your current Silicon Valley place. 

The first time I saw him, he approached me, asking me personal questions in a very rude manner, I mean obviously he knew I didn't live there (btw I'm Hispanic) And the majority of the residents are older white retires.