Being a military member house hacking is the easiest way but I’m also open to learning new methods and if at all possible learning from others’ mistakes. 

The banks treat it as if the borrowers gift it to them.

I've found the easiest solution is to have a really strong banking relationship and then they will be able to provide non-standard offerings. 

  $500 off up front is a one time discount, the $40/month lower is the gift (to the tenant) that keeps on giving. 

The easiest spot would probably be the dining room and change the office to more of a smaller dining area. 

They keep rent low, give gifts and homemade cookies for Christmas, make upgrades whenever the tenant requests,  accept all the late rent excuses, etc.The truth is, your tenant is not your friend.

It would be the easiest to network and find all the experts that will be needed to make it happen.

Hoboken and Jersey City are great places to live (hence invest) and some of the easiest places to commute to NYC.

Could you gift the down payment to your mother in law so she can buy it and then transfer title to you when your house is done?

I like to schedule a time to drop off a Hickory Farms gift basket before the holidays.