this reminds me of the movie with (can't think of the name) going to a bank asking for a loan. they ask him what he does and he says "porn star".

If you know where you're going to live, I would network on bigger pockets to find the rock star VA mortgage lender in that area and ask that person all your questions.

Hey Matt, you are a rock star.

Justify it be saying I'm increasing your rent buy a star buckets coffee a week :) 

I would certainly like to earn a star in heaven by marching in and evicting my tenant at a manageable cost.

Just thank your lucky stars you can legitimately deny her based on her credit report and the fact that she is named in an eviction.  

It's incredibly appealing as I am able to purchase a good quality house for a decent price (~$250k) in a good neighborhood (mostly 9 or 10 star schools).

I advised him to get the names of the CPAs his friend worked with to which he replied "they charge way too much".I simply repeated that I didn't think I was the right CPA for him, wished him luck, politely ended the call and thanked my lucky stars for dodging a bullet.  

Especially because you have no experience in real estate, so it's not like you're some rock star sales agent who just happened to get into trouble along the way and was already an indispensable team member who you couldn't let go easily..

contact Barry Carter at The Star-Ledger.