I don't care if one of you gets it all or all of you share it.

If time is on your side consider looking for a 2-4 unit that you can still be comfortable in but also in an area that will cash flow well enough to cover most or all of the mortgage.

But maybe structure it so that some or all of the rent and option fee are credited to purchase if exercised. 

It's usually pretty standard to find tenants paying gas/electric... but if there aren't 4 separate furnaces and/or separate meters you may end up paying some or all of the gas.

I have been working as a commercial property manager specializing in low, mid and high rise office buildings as well as single tenant and multi tenant industrial buildings/parks.NNN leasing (or NN or N) involves the tenant paying for costs such as insurance, taxes or all of the maintenance (including property management fees).

My advice in the case you are using a method other than cash on hand to get cash for some or all of your down payment is this.Figure out what your monthly expenses are for the property.  

Is there currently an owner-occupied unit, or all they all rented? 

If there are any flip/remodel folks that want to help educate me, I can provide some or all of the funding in a joint venture.  

I'd like to emerge from the Refinance with most or all of my money back, having built some equity in the property, and it should cashflow once it's mortgaged, rented, and being run by an awesome property manager.

You'll need money to cover that deficit, whether it's monthly with a renter or all at once with a fire sale priced sale.