@Matthew Wilson - I tend to use Google Earth (different than google maps) all the time along with the property assessors map to scout out local properties that have attributes that I like such as garages, parking, multis, etc.

What on earth do I do?

Nothing that is earth shattering. 

You can use google earth or google maps to get a sattalite view of the roof.

You've made it 50 years + on this earth without pulling a Wile E.

I expect the numbers to climb back to earth a little in the fall, but the region has definitely experienced a lot of positive growth and publicity in the past year, so I believe demand will remain robust.That said, underwrite conservatively to make sure your numbers work at a low occupancy rate/nightly rate and be pleasantly surprised when you do better!

How on earth are you only putting $5k into this deal? 

You know. . . the ones that made us the greatest country on earth.

I ask a lot of hard questions, they get angry and accuse me of wanting to destroy the earth or something, and then we eventually part ways.I think it's highly unlikely, even in the best of markets.

Target the properties you want and then go to the end of the earth to find the right contact info.