The Situation:I decided to open a new business which instantly made me not bankable considering I can't use my income towards the loan (I have to wait two years). 

I created instant equity, about $60k.

.* * * If you base your offer on an inaccurate value from an instant house value site, you could lose thousands.

Also have repaired many things in the house to build instant equity.

So on HUDForeclosure.com you can purchase a functioning/decent house that could be instantly rented for $85K in a class B neighborhood with a market value of $172K that rents for $1500. 

We initially set up our VRBO accounts to Instant Book which didn't  give us the opportunity to properly vet renters.

Hello, This is my first big deal, tell me If I am doing OK on this one. Owner financing a property, nothing down, and no interest for $450k Property is on the low end valued at around $650k with frontage on main freew...

Do a couple of deals with normal timing, pay the lender back, then share the bank owned scenario with them, they might want to partner with you.And in the 17 years of doing business, I have never had a private lender ask for a credit report, an appraisal or an inspection, they did, however, want to see before and after photos and profit and loss sheets of deals I have done (a few of them anyway) Once you build up a reputation of doing deals and using private money, you can get funding fairly easily for regular closings and build a track record with those lenders and they might fund instantly at the courthouse steps

Also my guess is they charge for instant transfer similar to cashapp? 

Wood catches fire instantly when it's exposed to 700F heat, which it would almost inevitably be when you opened your oven.