Wow, that certainly is an 'interesting' feature there...my first viable thought would be to use another shade of wood and make it look purposeful. 

Of course, darker colors will make a room appear smaller and we never want to simulate that effect.  

I happen to live about a quarter mile from one of the black shaded areas on the map.

Vinca  is a good shade vine and we had it on our front lawn and it worked well. 

I'm picturing an advertisement with you in a black Secret Service type suit, wearing dark shades, and striking a James Bond or Charlie's Angels type pose while holding one of those guns with the flags that says "BANG"....except of course yours would say:

If still considering stained concrete you can do a border in a complementary(darker) color to hide the nasty bit from the tack strip repair.

I like to contrast the countertop with a darker tone.  

They don't put every color on sale but I have used both dark and light shades and both look great. 

This is going to sound funny, given your comment about fleas & smells, but the the colors look fairly close to currently fashionable shades.

Blinds or shades on all windows at a minimum.