But, even assuming it is accurate, your other numbers seem like they've been massaged to make this work, which is never a good first step.

Not necessarily much, but there will be some post-purchase repairs, vetting of applicants, and ongoing maintenance and tenant massaging. 

I don't speak to him directly but he leaves a massage on my VM that sounds a little pissy to be honest with you.

I have some information for you, send me a massage 

You have to massage it a bit, as the calculator thinks you are buying a property, but just enter your details. 

These include operating a country club, golf course, massage parlor, hot tub facility, suntan facility, racetrack or other gambling facility, or liquor store.

And of course property values are systematically down in that scenario, and then you're really pissed off and f*ucked due to market conditions.

I'm a single woman Who at 59 wants to finally quit breaking my Back as a Massage Therapist , Cleaning Houses , Doing Floral Design (altho very fun) pay at 12.00 an hour here in Austin.Just moved here from Melbourne Florida My daughter is renting my home (starting too) at mortgage payment lol (family) And I'm looking to get a condo or small house outside or around Austin for my son also as an investment .Thinking of using equity on my home in Fl.

They all look great to me but I really don't want someone to call for a massage.

They may have to massage their report quite a bit, but it can and does happen.I'll post some encouragement in a little bit.