More of a hotel room..2x-3x unfurnished long-term gross rents aren't unusual for well-managed places in good areas.

Very unusual, most lenders will have the documents drafted and send to you 

I've been following this thread with interest because I'm in an unusual situation of having cash to invest due to divorce proceedings, but finding it tough to get a fixed loan because I'm in the home my kids grew up in, which is expensive, and Fannie/Freddy lending looks 3 years out. 

It sounds like you were suing for possession of the rental unit and nothing more (not unusual).  

Look for properties with unusually low prices for the neighborhood and lots of interior pics...maybe even pre-foreclosures.

They can take a long time - so much that the market will have moved by the time it's over. 6-12 months is not unusual at all.The good news is, if you change your mind, you'll almost certainly be able to walk away because the bank will have exceeded the timelines in the contract.

He apologized, said it's very unusual to have a case to fall through the cracks in his office, and promised to send me an amount to cover my investment and the interest I would have earned if held for all this time.

Dealt unusual problems like prostitutes, overdoses, break ins, etc. 

This is not zero sum game.It is an unusual time, volume of properties on the market are way down, prices are up and competition is everywhere.  

That would be a pretty unusual city.