I know, earth shattering right. 

Yes, an attorney may not track you down to the ends of the earth to collect. 

(Google earth is actually very helpful in verifying properties, seeing if they look anything like what is being represented, etc.) 

(Simplistically, another car dealer does have the same type of car for sale, in real estate, there is not another property on the face of the earth that is identical or even as similar as two new or used, blue, models by the same maker with the same equipment and condition.

Being a US government entity, it is a safe investment for 5 years but why on earth is it not being maintained?

However, this doesn't mean you have to leave the best place on earth, New York, to realize your dream.Good luck and best wishes!

If you abandon the golden rule and treat your realtors like the scum of the Earth you seem to think they are, then I'm not surprised by your bad experiences.I think the Pareto principle applies in real estate just like it does in any field, with 20% of the realtors causing 80% of the problems, and 20% of the realtors doing 80% of the business - and these statistics have been verified by NAR to some extent.

A zip code doesn't tell half the story, nor does a street name. 38115 can be hell on earth for an investor or a good value bet depending on the block and your goals. 

And if you cant even pick out a decent realtor, how on gods green earth are you going to pick out a good contractor, electrician, roofer, etc?

the utility will not even tell me whose name it is in that is "private information" so i have no earthly way of knowing where they are on their bills.