Since you don't have the capital to do the deal without the IRAs to supplement your capital, your IRA is enabling you to make the transaction and personally gaining by the IRA's involvement in the transaction.  

I'm a west coast kid who now has hit midlife and wants to build a few rental properties to supplement retirement.

New, but very committed to investing in rental properties to supplement my normal income. 

In the meantime I am positioning myself by studying online to take and get my RE license, pursuing a managerial position w/Federal Civil Service to supplement my pension.

The idea of replacing debt can work but you can always supplement with your own cash if you do not want to replace debt in a 1031. 

Hard money might be an option to supplement, but the deal needs to cash flow enough to cover the debt service. 

I currently work full-time in the medical field for the past 20 years which limits my time.My goal is to move to the Tampa Bay area to be closer to family and get away from winter with REI being full time or supplement my income.

I worked several side jobs to supplement my writing income, paid my half of our college-age children’s tuition and medical expenses, bought a Yaris, and lived frugally.

.% down of the purchase price and the rehab costsCan be used for primary residence with 1-4 units (could also be looked at as a disadvantage)  When using 2-4 unit property, projected income from other units can be used to qualify 6 months' worth of mortgage payments can be rolled into the renovation budget if the house is deemed uninhabitable by the HUD consultantCredit scores can go down to 600s (lender dependent) DTI can go to as high as automated underwriting system allows (typically 56.9%)Allows you to buy a property in any conditionCan use it to fix minor repairs all the way up to basically a full tear-downFHA 203k Disadvantages: Interest rates tend to be about .25-.5 higher than regular FHA loan Additional costs include HUD consultant fee, inspections, title updates, and supplemental origination fee (Cost of doing business, but this is built this into your numbers, so it's no big deal)Must use a licensed General Contractor for a full 203k or up to 3 specialized contractors on the limited 203k Must hold onto the property for 1 year and live in it. 

in my opinion, I would give her a dollar amount and tell her whatever place she wants is her business. if she wants to kick in an extra $20, her business. also suggest she try to get compensation from renters insurance, and you can supplement any difference, up to a certain amount if you feel inclined.