the ED medication was pure spite to embarrass the guy, no way he's spending a majority of his funds on that.

I got 100,0000 cash and sold it for 1 million dollars in pure profit.

I do own one long term rental if that’s relevant  Is it purely based off the asset or does my experience (or lack thereof) disqualify me from anything? 

This wouldn't work for a purely out-of-state investment.

Welcome to BPLots of factors - but a lot of people in your situation have had success doing the house hack in CA and then investing in pure rental properties in the Midwest - everybody's different, but that path seems to be a strong one for investors in CA that want to invest in RE but don't want to leave!

I'm not sure what numbers you are using our how you are calculating that, but there is nowhere in the central OH market that is going to purely cashflow $1K per door. 

We see these threads often and for the most part the responses are pure BS.

In my mind this is pure insanity from all sides.

Our second purchase (first actual pure investment) was a studio condo in the same area and operated as a furnished medium-term rental.

Having a bathroom & sleeping/eating while flipping is pure gold lol.