I do not understand your remark as related to the DSCR loan.  2 ADUs are not allowed by f/f conventional financing but is not always enforced.Fortunately if you stay with the current tenant without a refi, by the time you pay principle it is likely the rent will have increased enough to absorb the increase mortgage payment. 

Obviously been a rental for a long time, so lots of signs of neglect (but not gone so far that it was falling to ruin).

That may be a better use of your time and resources.

As for not feeling like it's the right time, I would urge you to focus more on the goals than your feelings. 

i tell them all the time to find a good W2 job you like and you plan on staying with a long time. 

I appreciate your time!

Over time they get uneven and breakup.

Two things are true at the same time. 1.

Anyone have some good tips for wholesaling around a full time job?

Ben Franklin used similar advice to turn an enemy into a friend (although his was asking to borrow a book).There are some caveats here, you cannot be wasting time thus you need to demonstrate that you are taking action.