Do you check Landlord references?

I'm not the fair housing landlord expert but I'd probably steer away from referring to it as "veteran housing"Either way I can relate to your situation a little because I also own a house that is shared by multiple people.

These people EXPLICITLY do NOT want to sell their house.

Talk to others they work with and ask for references if you don't know them personally.

I think you are referring to Jorge from AHP. 

I reached out to RTR, they referred me to another contractor which gave me a bid that would increase the construction cost by 100K - or they offered to buy as is and I would take a 160K loss.It is terrible to fell this dumb!

The low income versus high cost of living is referred to locally as the sunshine tax. https://www.businessinsider.com/most-expensive-places-to-liv...https://www.census.gov/quickfacts/fact/table/sandiegocitycal...It is my view that the incomes cannot sustain the high cost of housing in San Diego but it has seemed this way to me for four decades and yet the RE prices keep increasing.  

Does anyone have any recommendations or something they can refer me to. 

I'm referring to a minimum payment scenario on the HELOC.

No renting of any kind and explicitly mentioned even renting to others who live with you.