I walked the unit and in the bedroom has a massage table and no bed.

A little empathy about the impact will help ensure that you interaction is gentle but you do need them to vacate (i.e. understand it is an impact to the tenants but it is also a necessity to your investment).Good luck

It's a gentle "please move."

I'm still relatively new, so I almost feel like there must be something HUGE I'm missing here: can someone please point out what that might be, gently? 

I gently informed him I can get that deal for libor or 1/2 over from any Investment banking house.. but it was a nice try.

The father slowly smiled, winked and said gently, 'Welcome to conservatism.'

You need to massage your criteria a little bit to get in the game while pricing is good and debt is cheap.

The last thing I need to do as a first time investor is massage the #s to get a house and end up losing money or doing it for free...I will hang and there and keep making offers...I'm going to try to get my real estate license in the next few months so I can start viewing houses on my own time and getting access to the MLS to streamline the process...Right now I wait on input on recent comparable sales, wait to view the property and wait to make the offer...it just takes too much time...I feel if I was an agent I would be viewing 15+ homes a week and making several offers per week.

ALL were frozen and efforts to GENTLY free them were fruitless.

You might gently remind him of this and ask that he originate a new NOO loan at no cost.Just a thought.