But even the aforementioned accountant acknowledged that I'm well educated for a dumb engineer.

This is a killer and I can't find anything even acknowledging the state tax bite, much less how to minimize (if even possible)2) If I want to roll a portion of the proceeds into a new personal residence, must I pay full cap gains on those proceeds then invest as fresh cash?

Its normal to be nervous when you acknowledge inherent  risk.

Have them sign some acknowledgment that they have been warned and provide that and a copy of the lease when they inevitably smoke in the house again.

Not a flip, not a rental, not in the near term anyway.Since the bank did not acknowledge my last offer of $250K way back when, is it worth wasting my time or my agent's time to submit a far lower offer?

Your wife does not have to be on the mortgage but in most cases must acknowledge the mortgage.

GOOD AND VALUABLE CONSIDERATION: I have received good and valuable consideration in signing The Agreement, and I acknowledge both the receipt and the sufficiency of the consideration. ________ 4.

Please sign here to acknowledge that you have read and understand that this rental is temporary and indefinite.” 

A typical example is that we see that one of the homeowners is a serviceman and we acknowledge that detail and thank them for their service or that one of the owners has recently deceased and we offer our condolences.I can see the potential power of this, but I can not help being the devil's advocate to this approach.

@Kyle Bigger  I find it interesting that the OP has received 15 votes thus far and gotten all kinds of kudos and advice and hasn't even returned to the thread for one comment or acknowledgement of any of it??