We add in insurance, property management, CapEx, maintenance/repairs, vacancy and any other potential expenses based on the property (refuse, water, etc. fo MF and lawn care/pest control for SFR).

Or two pickups lose control and take out external roof supports at two properties in the same week and just drive on?

Make control all yours but all money is split 50/50. 

Then after me and the seller sign the documents I would gain control of the property without ownership through the lease option.

Either way it will benefit us greatly to have control of the house and de-junk it.

Option - In legal language, a real estate option is an agreement that grants the party owning the option, the optionee, the exclusive, unrestricted, and irrevocable right to purchase property from the party selling the option, the optionor, during the specified period of time that the option is in effect.I'm wondering if it is possible to control a house using an option to purchase in order to renovate the property (fix and flip) without actually buying the assett with a HML. 

He works a full time job so I would be in control of 100% of the project.

I wrote a lengthy blog on this recently; the bottom line is that investing is about control, not instant cash.

Should I just keep doing follow ups with pest control?

Somebody is siphoning off your monthly rent and you need to control the situatuon quickly.