They've made the clubhouse their personal lunch room and tool shed. 

Is there a tool, website, or video(s) out there that show many properties (real or hypothetical) with all of their listing information alongside an expert's analysis of them?

Zillow may not be the best tool.   

Heloc is a great tool, but it's essentially a credit card against a portion of equity in your home.

Used carefully, they can be an excellent tool for investments. 

@Jared G. look under the tools tab for the calculators and the education tab for the free guides.

BiggerPockets also has a "Tools" tab above, hover your cursor over it and click "FilePlace"... here they have templates and documents that you might be able to search through and find what you're looking for.Once you have the LOI (otherwise known as an offer binder, offer sheet, deal sheet, etc), all you have to do is outline the terms of your offer: Proposed purchase price; deposit amount; total down payment; method of payment (cash, mortgage); contingencies (inspection, appraisal, etc); proposed contract date; proposed closing date and anything else outlined on the form or anything else you'd like to include. 

If I lived in an apartment in Queens in New York City or in half a duplex in Pacifica, California, would I have a few thousand bucks invested in tools to fix houses and spend my day like today, where I worked on refinishing the oak strip floor of a bedroom and took a break to go to a tenant's house to change out a showerhead?

., and not just because i'm in the industry but because I use the tool myself and have for years.First I'd never argue that a 1031 is right every time. 

BP analyzer tools are some of the best I've found.