Most work this way: Rates: 9% to 13% (Most Deals are 11-12%)Terms: up to 36 Months (Most Deals are 6-12 months)Fees: 2-4 points(%) of loan amount paid at closing (Most Deals are 3 points(%))Minimum Loan Amount: $50,000 (For loans less than $250,000 $2,500 minimum fee)Max Loan: 65%-70% of After Repair Value(ARV)100% Rehab Financing Available (Require 20% of purchase price down payment or cross-collateral)Closing Timeframe: 48 Hours - 3 Weeks (Most Deals are 2 Weeks)NO PRIMARY RESIDENCES, NON-OWNER OCCUPIED ONLY, BUSINESS AND COMMERCIAL USE ONLY.

Where my primary residence is, cash flow negative, entry point for anywhere around here is too high, and I like the market out that way.

Our primary residence along with our vacation home is worth about $1.4 million, have a million in stocks etc.. credit score is 700+  How the heck do we get qualified for a loan? 

Hello @Nancy Chawla,You will still need a 1031 exchange for the half of the home that has not been treated as your primary residence. 

My primary goal was, after years of investing in syndications and funds (since I live in Europe), to pick a new market in the US and start buying rental properties directly again.

The ADU detracts from the primary unit.  

Most work this way BTW Rates: 9% to 13% (Most Deals are 11-12%)Terms: up to 36 Months (Most Deals are 6-12 months)Fees: 2-4 points(%) of loan amount paid at closing (Most Deals are 3 points(%))Minimum Loan Amount: $50,000 (For loans less than $250,000 $2,500 minimum fee)Max Loan: 65%-70% of After Repair Value(ARV)100% Rehab Financing Available (Require 20% of purchase price down payment or cross-collateral)Closing Timeframe: 48 Hours - 3 Weeks (Most Deals are 2 Weeks)NO PRIMARY RESIDENCES, NON-OWNER OCCUPIED ONLY, BUSINESS AND COMMERCIAL USE ONLY.

@Cory DamonThe 5-year loan period is the maximum time allowed (unless the loan is used for the purpose of purchasing primary residence in which case the loan term can be 15-years).

I know I could never personally sleep at night doing such a thing, and if it were my primary investment strategy.  

@Cheyenne Bolin You could get a DSR loan that requires 20-25% down, so how much can you access with a HELOC on your primary?