Inside I found the tenants had destroyed the bathroom tile and left me a bag of pot which took me 8 hours to turn into the police. 

(You may want to throw some cash their way to sweeten the pot.) 

I feel like I have to focus and make things happen or 'get off the pot'.

Yes, proof of funds or a pre-approval for financing are common things to ask of a buyer, and I almost always include them voluntarily with an offer.

You will want to give them a lien position in case the deal goes to pot.

That's basically the missing piece I've been looking for (outside of that pot of gold that would make HML unnecessary, haha). 

I know she really should talk to a lawyer soon.Someone on the other group mentioned that investors sometimes buy and let the owner live there for awhile after with the proceeds from the sale or whatever.In a nutshell, my perfect world has this lady keeping her house until she dies or voluntarily leaves.

I was there for tenant excuses, 8 pm cash rent pick ups, getting behind on rent, bolting over a weekend, not mowing the back lawn for the 6 weeks before they left, leaving a crock-pot still turned on, etc.

If you determine the monthly amount you are far more likely to receive it than allowing her to voluntarily determine the amount as she is now doing.

But instead, they act like they have a pot of gold they need to hoard from everyone else, which has allowed the Zillows to thrive IMO.