To answer your questions here though:Alternative options - I was going to sell all my stocks and etfs, take out a HELOC, and some credit cards to try to shoestring together enough to the deal without a hard money loan. 

They may also require US credit history, although there are a handful that will not require a US credit report for an increased rate/ reduction in LTV. 

I have gotten a seller's credit for my 3 existing units but to be conservative, I will assume I am paying full closing costs here.At the moment, I have ~$25k in a HYSA and expect to save another $10k from my W-2 before I start putting offers in.

Also Mike, why is cash out higher with refi, do you mean just with the credit union scenario? 

They could even hire you to do the work on the house and instead of paying you they could just give you a credit at closing.

And don’t sleep on local banks or credit unions—they sometimes offer flexible portfolio loans that could work for a deal like this.Since your wife qualifies as a first-time homebuyer, check out any state-specific programs or HUD options for down payment assistance.

I finished all the degree requirements only to discover I was extremely burned out and had to complete another year of electives to satisfy a minimum number of credits at that university.

I’ve just heard horror stories from landlords and I’m looking for suggestions on how to best vet tenants - Good credit, no missed rental payments in last 5 years, etc.

Was it included as a credit/debit on the HUD so it should have reduced your cash to close? 

There are many ways to attempt to collect your loss:  file a small claims complaint against them; get a judgement so you can garnish future wages/bank accounts - and the judgement will be recorded in the credit bureau.