Forgive my "Newbie-ness".

We've talked about upgrading or lateral moving to something we can both decide on together and I think we would have done that a while ago if it wasn't for the underwater-ness and figuring out how to deal with that.

The interrelated-ness makes total sense but I guess I’m wondering why it hasn’t kicked in at all yet.

If the answer is yes, then invest (after you triple check the amazing-ness of the deal).

I've looked at some properties in Baltimore city which look intriguing because I could afford them with cash but given the areas they were in and their condition I couldn't identify an exit strategy for the property that was likely to make me a profit (probably due to my newbie-ness). 

Stevens and Ness is a known source for non realtor forms locally. 

@William G.I've been trying to analyze... but lo and behold RE costs in NJ are ridiculous, and in my beginner-ness I don't recognize what the good deals are.

The pond scum - ness of the scammers never ceases to amaze me.If only they would use their tiny little brains for good instead of evil.....

Warren Buffet was known to recite all the numbers of the annual reports that he studies for fun.3. brush up on your handyman-ness!  

It's very cluttered, and the purple carpet reminds of a church alter color (but it is very pretty).I did a quick mockup of a less cluttered room, and used Shaw brown colored pet resistant carpet.I put a mushroom colored sofa at one end and an Avocado green and rust chair at the other end.I also put in a minibar and two small (vs one big) log burners (for winter and fall).it might also be nice to have some kind of sound system in the ceiling that can hitch onto your cell phone and play your music from your phone.If you notice rather than paint a wall, I simply used a drapery to color it from end to end.Here I used a muddy looking mustard color with some checkers on it.I also toned down the white window trim to deep brown color, and put some sheers inside to make the house feel bigger.You could also use knotty pine wainscoting in some areas to break up the horizontal-ness of it.