Initially, we wanted to  have the loan under my wife's name only but my the loan officer from the builder's lending arm told us that if I am in the buyer, the RE Agent and the mortgagor (in the loan), I could use my agent commission towards closing costs and down payment.

So the owner is not stepping into any equity but instead his or her net worth is lower based on the fact that they had to pay closing costs on the transaction.  

What steps should I do to start this?

My initial plan had been to do something like Rent-to-Retirement or REI Nation- assuming that I'd be leaving money on the table to pay for their expertise, but hoping that I would learn through the process and develop the confidence to strike out on my own later. 

Can I just add this to the initial basis?

A good PM can assist with initial analysis and either help you buy or knows someone who can help you buy.

My initial goal was to net $150-$200 per door after ALL expenses.

Once you get past the initial learning curve and have some basic knowledge, it gets a lot easier though and at that point most knowledge gaps can be filled as they come up.

What I was referring to was that I know two private lenders who have the borrower complete the Deed in Lieu documents at the Closing of the initial loan and then hold them in escrow during the life of the loan.

The initial online material is $97 and the 3-day certification is $1,495 (after $1,000 discount), all which will be reimbursed with first few deals.