Which adds another layer of mystery because if you have so little faith in the operation/venture that equity is a kiss of death, how in the heck could you expect that same operation/venture to perform on the notes...... 

On occasion I rent to tenants with pets if all the other boxes are checked.

If you search agents in that area on Zillow, there is a box they can check about working with investors and that will come up in the search.

Have a clear cut buy box: i.e.

Your performance goals are base on a bunch of factors.Seems like the “buy box” is the real filter for most everyone.

Drop trying to "think like a businessman", "reinvest in your business", "level up" etc - the fewer empty words you pollute your brain with, the clearer is your thinking.Now, off of my weekend soap box. 

I had another person try to bargain me down to $1700/month, and said she was moving out of her dad's house and so needed room to store boxes in the extra bedrooms. 

It has a boxed entrance typical of old buildings with a latch on it.

People like to ridicule what they don't understand, but when the government inflates the dollar away, or taxes whats hiding in your safe deposit box, or we do a bank bail-in like Cyprus did, THEN maybe some people will bother to read a few articles and learn about Bitcoin.   

Can you put some reserves into a "lock box" type account that is your money but locked at escrow for up to a period of time.