Customer service seems to be a dying phrase these days, and there are too many people looking to take advantage of new investors.

Instead of phrasing it as "I marketed the property" I'd phrase it as you were "Marketing the contract to purchase the property".

Your phrasing is awesome. 

If your wife can quickly pop out a few kids, to the point that your FHA-financed rental would no longer constitute adequate housing for your family, you could then get another FHA loan.Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase, "Tonight we should work on our real estate investing plan."

Be sure and set up your keyword alerts for any local phrases you may be interested in.

I'm 19 and every time I do anything remotely related to real estate I get the "you're too young to know anything about real estate" phrase, or I am just ignored by those who think they know everything.Have a couple of trusted mentors and listen to their advice, if you have people telling you you're doing something wrong chances are you're moving in the right direction.

I often see them advertise using phrases such as "owner wants it sold", advertising the property as being tenant occupied, offering to set up showing appointments, etc.

Congratulations @Joshua Dorkin I like the phrasing to the effect that you've made the business of real estate transparent -- man, that says it all. 

However, don't wait too long or become prey to paralysis by analysis (or whatever the phrase, you know what I mean).

I think your phrase of "fixed expenses" that won't change based on rent gets to the heart of my question: should maintenance and capex be a fixed amount per door (and if so, how much?)