Then she repeated herself several times and ranted some more about people wanting m'effers in all these neighborhoods to give their GD property away, and how they (we) don't give an f about anybody or anything, and asked me if I'm white or Mexican or (insert slur for Mexican from Mexico) or whatever the f. :) Good times! 

This will force the Listing Agent to ask your agent to get you to come back with a "Best and Final", and allow you to get into a negotiation IF there really is some flexibility I the part of the seller regarding the price.Unfortunately, there are a lot of agents out there who will insert their opinions into your negotiation.

By the closing the title company can insert the assignment to your LLC, if that has been approved by your lender.  

They were fine with it, but I thought to myself, "Why in the (insert expletive) am I having to explain the value of this property to the first-time home buyers when they just paid a professional to do this for them?!?!"

I'm going to approach it as if I've got a serious cash partner who's interested and will pick it up right now for "insert low ball offer".

They also call lines when they no longer want to be in the business of "<insert your choice here>", be the reason economic changes or regulatory requirements. 

@Caden Hill, see my comments inserted between your questions:What contract do you use to make an offer?

My company does consulting work that helps investors connect with and then manage properties in the Pittsburgh area, so full disclosure here is that I would love to find a way to get a new partner inserted to work this deal to completion.

-Andrew(insert appropriate lawyer joke here) 

If Travis is right, you didn't even have to insert that language.