My initial though is....dumpster everything but jewelry as I don't want to deal with the time it take to sort things.Can you donate it and get a huge write off from good will?

That builds a LOT of goodwill into the relationship.

I can also call Goodwill or the like and either get a receipt for less than $500 or a receipt saying the stuff was worthless and they refused to take anything.

And meanwhile, the other side wants to minimize the goodwill portion and maximize the land/building if they're doing a 1031. 

While we've attempted to show good will and provide reasonable accommodations, our tenant has unrealistic expectations in more ways than one.

You need to be grossing $300k+ for the goodwill value to be considered worth anything.

Even if it's only 50 bucks, your contractor will take if as a sign of respect and good will and appreciate that you respect his time.

I also gave them some extra money to cover the hotel costs as a show of goodwill- but the law in VA says I only have to prorate the rent.

Presuming you have a descent NOI on the property that would support a very occasional $200 expense, and you aren't worried about starting some sort of 'trend' with multiple tenants suddenly complain to get a new appliance, why not try and swap it out and appease the tenant.You win in more than one way... (1) the tenant quits complaining / you get peace and quiet, (2) when you raise their rent the next time they feel like you listened to their concerns and took care of them, etc (you buy some good will).  

I have also considered paying for “good will” as some of the purchase price but have yet to get a deal with this In there.