So I went over with some batteries, popped it open with my fingers, and changed the batteries (2 AA).

That was 4 or 5 months ago and no issue from the lender yet (Fingers crossed).

I deserve it for being gullible, but at least I can hold my head up high and people won't point fingers at me.

They probably do crack down now and then and the consequences will probably be way more expensive when you are in the federal court system, than just a slap on the wrist or a finger wag.   

totally agree, I sell more deals for Columbus to out of state than the locals because they don't have liquify. even literally real estate agents with all the data at their finger tips there isn't enough motivation to convince them 

Fingers crossed in 7 years I have not had to test my coverage, but in the area of my rentals a golf cart is expected with the rental.

I will essentially be managing the entire property/collecting rent and my friend will not have to lift a finger. 

Quote from @Calvin Thomas: I don't have my finger on the pulse and nobody knows the future.

I do not have any imminent capex or big ticket maintenance items (fingers crossed!)

Say it takes you 12 months to get that person out before you can even lift a finger to do any work, and say that they leave the place completely destroyed.