How do a married couple establish who's in charge and who's running the business? 

You should establish a minimum amount of coverage (building limit, deductible, Liability, etc.) and then request quotes at that or better. 

Retired at 35, terrific plan.Self-directed IRAs and 401(k)s for investing are a tricky business with specific, esoteric rules established by the IRS.

As a retirement plan, the Solo 401(k) is vastly superior, with significantly higher contribution capacity, the ability to make Roth contributions of up to $18K per year with no income limitations, etc.Depending on your ability to contribute, and therefore how quickly you can amass some working capital, you may choose to start with a fully self-directed Solo 401(k) or you may choose to establish a low-cost brokerage Solo 401(k) that would be limited to investing in stocks, funds, etc. for the near term.  

LLCs can also elect to be taxed like a corporation so check with your tax advisor for specific advice.

The wholesaler is fairly new to the business, but is employed with a well-established firm here in Denver.

These goals should be very simple:1 - You need to pay off all your personal debt2 - You want to have enough passive income to cover all you monthly bills3 - You want to accomplish this by a specific date.4 - You want to have fun doing this.Once you set these numbers, you "reverse engineer" from there, establishing as series of groups (elements of the steps above) called "measurable milestones".  

There are plenty of suburbs in Cleveland with great commercial and retail establishments, awesome restaurants and amazing school districts people love to rent in.

Send them to a financial advisor.

The problem is some of them infiltrate the same apparatus established to protect us from those shady characters.