Your understanding of NOI, deal negotiation, and long-term strategy are assets that make you stand out. 

Best to talk to her and understand your options.

I am using a dscr loan. what I cant understand, is why are my closing costs so high. above is the numbers on the refi.

But consulting with the town would be good to try to understand what they're permitting process is like.

I understand it varies from city to city.

As an investor in a market where cash flow does not come often and appreciation is a bigger play, I understand your mindset. 

When ive attempted to pursue a deal in the past, I hesitated to move forward with the contract because:1) Time frame in contract- I didn't/ couldn't understand what exactly I needed to do within a certain amount of time.

100% worth it to post on Furnished Finder, but you need to make sure that you understand it is not a booking site.

When I did open my SDIRA back when, I had done a lot of research but I guess I missed the understanding or knowledge of banks also having SDIRAs.

As for Alexandria specifically in terms of regulations don't take advice from a public forum - look up the laws yourself and make sure you understand them.