'Blood from a stone' and all that.

It just makes my blood boil.

If you do go, it's because you have a sick relative somewhere who needs to see you before they go on to glory -- the best kind of story for that is an expensive one, like a blind half-brother with a rare blood disease who is only free of constant pain in this one remote high-altitude institute in the Cascades...something so outlandish no one would make it up that at the same time implicitly explains why you need the rent checks to be on time.

Who said buy when there’s blood in the streets?

No spirits can stay once you speak the word of God and the blood of Jesus.

Top Ramin, spagettios, pasta, cereal, basically eat cheap, no deserts, no soda, alcohol, dinning out, etc... 

The tenant is a real piece of work - an alcoholic, a druggie, and a total liar.

What you have suggested in the OP sounds good, but rest assured if there is an incident, the victim will sue the "deep pockets" landlord before the "blood from a stone" tenant. 

I couldn't even ask my Dad to help (his blood pressure isn't great) for fear of his life. 

So birth certificate, certificate of live birth from hospital... social security card... blood type... organ donation later....