Just an idea...no experience whatsoever and not even sure if a new house cost minus profit and marketing is a better deal than a well priced resale...but that guy was doing it years ago and they moved three times around when my daughter knew theirs.

I'm happy to wait for another major downturn, if it comes, as I am in no hurry whatsoever. 

There is no need whatsoever to make up a conversation with a banker.Lying is not negotiating. 

Chat with him while he is examining your teeth. :)

Where do newbies have the best luck cutting teeth with private lenders?

I have no experience whatsoever, but I do have a craving for knowledge and guidance, with a little over $15k in savings to get me started.

No fees involved whatsoever for either party that I’m aware of.

But I would certainly never deny it, and I think it is pretty well understood by everyone.If you do have an LLC, and you expect it to provide you with any protection from liability whatsoever, then you need to actually operate it as an independent entity. 

Old couches on the front porch, no pride in the state of the place whatsoever.

I do allow pets in some of my rentals, but I have to say, they DO add to my cost, yet I do not charge a pet fee.Here is a list of things I have personally experienced a tenant's dog do.Dug out sprinkler heads pulled them off the lines.Yanked out sprinkler controller wires.Chewed off corners of interior doors.Scratches on exterior doors that looked like the XMEN Wolverine poster.Broke the lower portions of wood blinds.Bent or go THROUGH window screens.Yanked kitchen cabinet door hinges completely off.Removed 80% of paint off cabinet kick plates.Chewed off the bottom moulding of a refrigerator.Exterior door weather seal shredded to pieces.Dog poop all over the back yard when tenants agreed to clean up after each time.This is a new one this week - and I am still unsure how this could happen, can a dog's teeth be strong enough to put a dent almost a hole on the aluminum threshold of an exterior door?