I'm not trying to be harsh, but what you've said:  "The owner of the home is incapacitated" and "I'm broke and I have bills to pay what is my quickest and safest way to money here?"

Not to be harsh, but I think the first step is to take care of your judgement.

I dont see how you could think that you could get away with only 5k out of pocket if the seller said they would not contribute to your costs.Im sorry if it sounds harsh, but again 3.5% of 165k is over $5k.If you found a different house where the owner was willing to take back a second lien position, that would work.  

Both new and seasoned investors can gain wisdom from the harsh experiences of others.

Not trying to be a jerk here, just warning you of the harsh realities.

It's not difficult to find brokerages like that but certain ones come with expectations for agent availability and work load that you might find harsh. 

Might be easier to start with a harsh letter from a lawyer.A landlord can keep a deposit or portions of the deposit for damage.

Here in CO, 5 day inspection period up front before addenda is signed, they are a little harsh on FHA borrowers, weeding out the flakes pretty easily.My least favorite to deal with?

This may sound kind of harsh but would it be a possibility? 

You will need to be on your toes at all timesYou will run into set backs (often)You will need to evict peopleYou will need to throw families onto the streetYou will make children homelessYou will have your house damaged You will need to hire a team of highly skilled people to be your eyes and ears on the groundYou will pay a premium for services provided on your real estate portfolioYou will be harshly judged by those outside of the industryYou will need to make decision based on the best interest of your business and not your feelingsWorks out great for some.