I used to do a lot of leasing for property management companies in the area and normally they're very poorly run with only a few agents doing most of the leasing so they're lucky to get to a property more than once or twice a week so I would follow up with your property manager on how many inquiries they're getting every week and how many showings they're scheduling based on that and what kind of feedback they're getting from renters. 

Does this sound like a normal timeline for closing in NYS?

When I have spoken to them they talk like used car salesman.

Normally, yes, assuming we're talking about several LTRs.

One of the allowed deductions beyond material damage is wear tear beyond what would be considered normal.

What is considered "normal" wear and tear?

You're also a great candidate for a normal mortgage and low interest rates.  

They've told me in the past that this is normal.

You can purchase today a 3 bed, 2 bath, 2 car garage SFR for less than $300K here.

Refreshing the apartment with paint and a small standard cleaning is normal and wouldn't constitute taking the security deposit.