Both of our employers now offer roth 401k contributions instead (with matching going into regular 401ks), and I may take advantage of that too, but another small hit to cash flow.At some point, do you just suck it up and take a 10% penalty?

Maybe you could extend the closings with some additional earnest money (even if you release it) and buy the time so you can simply do a regular 1031 exchange.  

The sales pitch was that inner circle members get access to exclusive deals like hard money loans, 1% ownership opportunities in various investments / funds, and joint ventures as well as regular educational trainings.

@Nadia Jones Starting and running a fund is a separate business because it's something that you need to actively market for and regularly work on attracting capital to invest in. 

I see it somewhat regular of people who got into a "deal" with HML, to do a Brrr and now it's half done reno and there desperately trying to sell it as-is to bail them out. 

For a regular 1031 you will find a range of prices from 900 ish to 1500 ish for a complete exchange. 

Plus you’re moving regularly.

This is due to bonus depreciation which allows taxpayers to deduct 100% of qualifying property costs in the first year, in addition to regular depreciation for new construction and improvement.

It has since been replaced with a regular shingled roof because of the noise.

Your best bet is probably to get your real estate license and start actively being a real estate professional or buy a STR in your market that you can physically be at on a regular basis.