Yes, there's broke college girls on there looking for a guy to pay her regularly, but, there are also business women, doctors, etc, who also realize the need to trim the fat.

REI has been a long term goal of mine that got put on the back burner while starting our family.

Lost 8 pounds of fat and only 1 pound of lean body mass in the process.

In the event of any lease issues I would buy my little niece a burner phone and have her call in the middle of the night."

Or maybe after a few years you decide one or two are just your "problem child" and you want to sell them to reduce your headaches by trimming the fat. 

For financing, am I on the right track with who I've talked to already, or do I need be someone who throws leverage to the wind and simply keep a fat wad of cash for PP+Rehab costs in my bank account until it's time to use and simply skip financing all together?

For example, if you can prevent the nightmare tenant, you avoid--well-- nightmares (like real ones, where you lose sleep or wake up worried how the eviction will play out or toss and turn wondering if the non-paying tenants are trashing your place; you drift off imagining them doing nefarious things under dim lamps with bunson burners and beakers amid a pile of trash surrounded by half feral pit bulls resting on dirty mattresses)... 

So when they get calls for new jobs with more money yours goes on the back burner.

One burner is gas, the other oil burner.  2 units are on 1 gas and 1 electric meter. 

You pay to much upfront you're going on the back burner and job likely won't get done.