Most homes here are like a giant box, not like a row home.

What it does (I think) is frame the offer more aggressively as an investor who isn't going to dick around and I make sure my agent communicates the same. 

People are even starting pod businesses in the likes of San Francisco where they just pay for a bed in a giant room with 20 other people.

Other things: We have 3 giant dogs between the two of us, and he would have to take them with him to CO as I am very gone away from home (even in Gillette) while I'm working.

I don't need to pay someone $500/mo to tell me that I shouldn't put a giant pink unicorn on my lawn, I can figure that out for myself, thanks much, and honestly I don't care about my neighbor's unicorn.

Same story with hot tubs, giant sculptures of pink unicorns, swimming pools, detached garages, sheds, you name it.

Yup, that's correct.My inbox is spammed with "portfolio" lenders looking for my brokered business, sometimes leading with 20% down 2-4 unit investment in giant bold capital letters.

My fear is I end up owing a giant tax bill. 

I've tried being reasonable with them, but their response today was to put a giant fan outside their door and aim it at my apartment so thru are literally blowing smoke into my unit.

Larger corporate head quarters and major industry giants hang their hat here.