Most any client I work with who intends to stay in the home uses a an investment loan as it is far less UW and less resistance. 

This generally involves weight/resistance training, which I've found to be the best all around exercise routine.

Markets that appreciate also have rents that appreciate...play the long game and resist the urge to chase after the best day 1 cash flow option.And you mentioned your obsession...that's a good to place to start.

When I get a new tenant and ask for a copy of the lease they resist. 

Get your income up, keep the DTI low, and resist the urge to go chasing after cheap doors in smaller Midwest markets. 

Even after finding a qualifying building, if you can use the new 5% down program you may find less resistance to your offers since sellers often don't want to deal with the additional inspection.

Honestly, just networking with high profile people that raise capital for bigger projects is your path of least resistance.

Medium grade sounds much better when you walk on it, your installer will not hate you and is also more resistent.

Yesterday, I noticed a bike in the front yard which was not there when I did my initial inspection.I normally don't touch these kinds of properties (and try to avoid occupied properties in general), but it was so cheap I couldn't resist.

Assuming you are just now beginning investing, I recommend picking the 'lowest hanging fruit' and 'walking path of least resistance.'