Stop hanging out with your deadbeat buddies who spend all day drinking, talking sports, and otherwise wasting away.

There are plenty of neighborhoods where you can still get access to a pool for your guests. 

All of the homes are brand new with new appliances and we've had a few ice makers stop working right outside of the warranty window in our Whirlpool fridges.

Have you stopped into the local coffee shops and bars/restaurants to speak with the residents?

It will increase the value even to investors, you just may have longer days on market when you want to offload because fewer buyers will have access to a loan like that. 

Even if you keep them together it won't stop being a problem. 

But then my LLC will need a down payment and I wont have access to the equity right?

Looking into doctor/dentist groups that have capital to invest is also another avenue to access capital.You want to transition from a hunter out there looking for investors, to a farmer who is cultivating investors with content and providing values.Unfortunately, it takes time and effort, but it cane be done.

Technically the tenant could contact escrow and instruct them to stop making payments, but the money would then be held by escrow until both parties agreed upon forward action or a court ordered action.

Better is to send an email to all guests (you collect emails this way) with all the resource links so they can access them on their phones.