Nice first name by the way, LOL.... 

It would pi$$ me off to no end if a 19 year old came to talk to me with a binder telling me how good of a deal I am getting by seeing a 36% rent increase.

Not sure what is meant by "After 70% ltv". 

I sold out years ago and it was the best thing I ever did. unless your up in Madison or by the REsivour in prime areas Getting houses stripped is a major issue and letting folks just walk in is insanity in those markets NO LOCAL would remotely consider that.

Then I work with a local insurance broker give them a valuation of the property, explain that the property is being rented and by how many people.

The tenants know you're an amateur and they are taking advantage of that by scaring you.Stop all communication with them.

Do you get energized by throwing your stack of cash on black and seeing what lady luck has for ya? 

I often hear, "Oh, I didn’t know" or "Oh, I forgot about that," followed by reluctance to go through the effort of gathering the necessary documentation.

Asking price was 1 million but was by far the best deal we had found in the same price range.

If you had a couple million in equities and a need to diversify your holdings by adding real estate, maybe.