I actually wouldn't advise this option for a loan this small when the other 2 options are so compelling, but it popped up and is interesting to talk about.

So, how could they ever really advise you?

I strongly advise you to engage a fee-only financial advisor to discuss your specific investments and track record so they can help you understand what your actual numbers look like and bring to your attention safer alternative investments.

Would you advise a third-party payment processor to be used?

State pending, this could also trigger the re-assessment anyways.So if you want to get creative, make sure you hire some competent attorneys to advise you. 

I advise people to hold property forever unless they can move the money into another investment that produces a greater return or moves them closer to their goals.

Be advised!

Shortly after, I was advised to remove any specific employment references to avoid potential employment discrimination charges.

@Blanca Munoz @Nathan Gesner gave some great advise.

Kidding aside, there are some red flags here, but not enough info to advise upon.Mike