You can get “Life Proof” vinyl at home depot which advertises that it’s water proof and scratch resistant. 

No laminate - if someone spills water and lets it sit on laminate it will buckle.2 - Stone Counters - Make sure they are heat resistant. 

Choose weather-resistant furniture and add some colorful cushions for extra comfort.

Most any client I work with who intends to stay in the home uses a an investment loan as it is far less UW and less resistance. 

This generally involves weight/resistance training, which I've found to be the best all around exercise routine.

Markets that appreciate also have rents that appreciate...play the long game and resist the urge to chase after the best day 1 cash flow option.And you mentioned your obsession...that's a good to place to start.

When I get a new tenant and ask for a copy of the lease they resist. 

Get your income up, keep the DTI low, and resist the urge to go chasing after cheap doors in smaller Midwest markets. 

Even after finding a qualifying building, if you can use the new 5% down program you may find less resistance to your offers since sellers often don't want to deal with the additional inspection.

Honestly, just networking with high profile people that raise capital for bigger projects is your path of least resistance.