@Andrew Carlson are you an investor or moral police?

When we rehabbed, we pulled up all carpets and found that the old wood floors could be sanded/polished/waxed ,so I then hired someone to sand/polish/wax the floors in all rooms and they turned out beautifully.

It Makes it difficult for police when they have to stop at the city line 

I've been considering adding a Woodford to my mini-bar, but I don't know which is most popular.I'm not a real big drinker, but I do have a mini-bar and I like to offer business associates a drink from time to time.I like to offer doubles (of a full Polish shot 60ml = 2oz), so a 750 ml makes about 6 drinks (costing it out).Which Woodford do you think would be most popular.It will set with Makers Mark, Jack Black, Knob Creek, Canadian Club, and VO....Grey Goose, Tanqueray, Tang 10, Patrone, etc... 

I am a real estate investor (with a concentration in buy-and-hold properties) as well as a Police Officer for the city and I will warn you that crime is an issue.

My septic inspector regularly tells me there’s generally no septic police for these matters once the property is built.

They don't police these.Now, that being said, consult with an attorney in the state you're looking. 

They should call you instead of calling police or Airbnb. 

If the tenants are truly that loud, the other tenant could call the police for disturbing the peace if they wanted to.  

Yes, this theft is recorded with the police.