There sounds like there is an awful lot of "he said, she said" going on, and you need to get the information from the horses mouth.  

That puts the cart before the horse.

Don't look this gift horse in the mouth.

Trying to find a 1% SFH, particularly in a high price market, is like trying to ride a horse that has only three legs. 

That would be a horse of a different colour and I would definatly grab that opportunity.

If it needs work to be market ready anyway this may not be that big a deal, except that it would stall your access to the equity.You could also look into local lenders' requirements for a HELOC to access the equity if that's your primary goal.

I got lost in a branding black hole w/nothing to show for it bc I didn't quite have my identity yet...I would have been putting the cart before the horse.

There's an old saying "Horses for Courses, and Courses for Horses," which means there's something for everyone and someone for everything.If the deal makes sense, and the house will work for what you want (Fix and Flip, BRRR, or???)

Maybe that kinda falls in the realm of "putting the cart before the horse"

I did one property in a duplex nice, but nothing fancy, the other side I called the Bunkhouse and put all kinds of Cowboy ornaments in it, like tables with horse legs, western logwood couch and bed, wagon wheels, varnished pine baseboard and trim, stainless steel appliances, hickory hardwood floors, antique oak hutches and dressers,walk in tiled shower with horses depicted on the shower curtain, elk antler lamp and mirror, etc.