Please provide useful advice on locating, assessing, and negotiating private money lending deals, especially from seasoned professionals.

Just bear in mind he has a very specific private equity investing mind set.  

I want to buy a new private home and use my current primary residence equity (plus some cash) to buy a new primary house cash and then sell the old one.So, I am looking for a HELOC with little to no closing costs, as I will retain the money only for as long as I am selling my old house after buying a new one.Any advice?

I see this constantly out in the market place those who want to jump in the RE world that have limited to no resources and they are far to worried about what the equity or money partner is going to make.. or they spend months trolling the internet trying to find that private investor who is happy with 8% or 10% which they never find and they just lose the dream   ... if there is not enough money in a deal to split profit or be able to comfortably pay HML  then the deal is too skinny to start with..

I hav seen many private equity deals where the IRR is between 20% and 30%.I also don't like the way they are mixing all the different strategies. 

Would you consider private lending?

Or if I still want to have the 401k Invest in an LLC, I believe I can open an LLC business account, have a form that says it is a private equity investment from the 401k, and then operate the LLC to hold a rental property.Fidelity has reps that don't understand things.

How many lots, public or private utilities and who pays utilities?

Private financing  is more likely, probably short term while you establish residency and credibility 3-5 years with a balloon. 

As a private lender, we specialize in providing funding options that could help you with your investment goals.